Words do hurt!
In these times its not always east just to get out of the job you are in, we sometimes have to take work we aren’t delighted about to get by. But I work in the ‘caring’ industry, support work for not able bodied, I can’t stress enough how much the people there shouldn’t be suffering cause you don’t like you work… yet I have seen to much of this. It makes me sad. Our job, is to basically be the hands for the people in our care, to assist them in things they are unable to do themselves. Also to enrich their lives, help them live a day that they could if they weren’t disabled, and relied on others to do simply things like blowing their nose.
I work for three very special clients, all special in their own ways… for their own privacy I will not name them or be completely accurate when describing their personal qualities. For now I’ll refer to them as Bee, Cheshire and Chuckles.
What makes me angry, cringe, want to cry is when people are rude, unwilling or straight up don’t do these simple things. I’ve seen other workers (and I use the term loosely) answer “WHY?” when asked to close a computer, answer “No” when asked to get a tissue. Bring foul moods into this persons home cause of their own personal issues and then make Chuckles feel unable to ask for anything.
Can you imagine that feeling…. being trapped inside your own body and house, and not feeling like you can ask for anything, like going to the bathroom, a drink of water cause are afraid of what response you would get or putting someone out?
I have been able to tell now when the previous work to me has been particularly bad to Chuckles, it becomes apparent when I’m asked “if it’s okay” if he goes to the bathroom. “is it okay”
I’m not sure if others get into the industry cause they thought it would be easy and they want a job they don’t have to do much, I’m not sure if after a certain amount of time other forget what it must be like to not be able to do things for yourself, but that “is it okay” always grounds me…
No one should ever have to say “is it okay” if they get something they need, no one should ever be cautious of someone else’s mood and put them in further discomfort.
Our mission is make it easier for them, and instead others make if harder, to be constant ridicule of all the choices you make, subject to mockery from the people who are supposed to care for you… there is things said in jest… Chuckles and Bee especially like to make fun of me for the quirky things I do, I love it, we definitely have giggles back and forth, but I also make it known if I ever mock, that it’s followed with something loving said as well, in short they know I’m joking. It’s never in question. These people throughout ever day get looked out, gawked if you will, eyes will flitter and rest on them for their strange appearance or behaviour that’s just out side of the every day, they will get treated differently, talked down to, why should it be brought into their houses!
A little teasing I put forth is good, life shouldn’t be taking to serious, but I usually go with what their gauge is and match it. But others, don’t seem to have this filter, they make fun of to the point of what I have determined is verbal abuse, my theory is that these offenders suffer from a lack of confidence themselves, and use the other people they find weaker then themselves to feel superior.
You may ask, why oh why are these people still employed, this behaviour is disgusting. Because they are good are covering themselves, and the people they are taking ‘care’ of are kind gentle people that find it hard to complain or say bad things about anyone. How is one supposed to go to a manager or relative and say I don’t feel comfortable working with this person. When the repercussions for doing so could be worse, if the offenders find out. How can you put into words all the things that happen, when its not ground breaking enough like they are beating me. Verbal abuse is one of the hardest things, to deal with. It’s tricky to identify, hard to prove and near impossible to get over. What gets planted in your head is that this is ‘nothing’ it’s said in jest, and if you can’t deal with it it’s you being a ‘sook’ or ‘weak.’
When daily, words are planted, the seeds grow, they spread to other areas and self doubt, and belief in what is being said grows and grows. And sometimes you can’t even place where it originally began cause words are tricky like that!
And being told things by someone who is labelled your ‘Carer’ how do you not believe!