Here is a vicious cycle for you….
As of right now, I’m on two different anxiety medications, a mood stabilizer and have just been given a prescription to start another mood stabilizer…. Now obviously, I won’t need all these forever. But for the time being…. Can you say cha ching… or PRICEY! These are also not the cheapest things in the world…. So having to take 4 different kind is costing my pretty pennies….
The latest one, I just found out will cost close to $200 for 30. This I had to turn down for the time being as… ouch! But it got me thinking of this awful merry go round. Without the mood stabilizer, I will continue to have extreme lows, question my self-worth and all that goes along with it…. Yet if I were to buy, my money problems would get more serve, I might not be able to afford all my bills and then I would go into extreme lows etc…
Or are they so good that you can see you bank account reading zero and still be happy…. Like having one of those step ford smiles on your face as your fridge holds no food and you power goes off and say at least I’m happy, te he.
Then I question the motives of such pricey medication… of course maybe it’s the ingredients or the research behind it we are paying for? But obviously, people buying mood stabilizing drugs, have problems like mine…. Now I’m gonna get dark here, but what if we all couldn’t afford to buy it, and then continue our low moods and spiral worse cause we feel ever more helpless at knowing there could be help but we can’t afford it and we all take our own lives…. Then the government would have loads of less people to tax and score money from….
If you ask me they are just not using their noggins….
Ah alas I’m just venting…. I’m anxious cause I haven’t been able to afford my second anxiety medication so I’m on half my dose, my mood stabilizer is finished as of tomorrow and I’ll need to buy the new one as well…. This is completely undoable really… I’ll have to choose which to get this week and then next week. Right now I’m close to tears and wish I was just better… I wish I could budget better…. I wish I could buy all the medication other people in similar need for them to and we could all group hug together. The fight continues. Monster is telling me I’m useless and stupid… I impulse spent to much before I remembered my medications. Thanks dude for kicking me when I’m down…
No stone stepped this week, but wait, I wrote about it, I journaled, I am here getting it out and inside of letting things fester in my head dwelling around the drain of ‘you’re an idiot, you’re an idiot, you’re an idiot’ that counts right? Okay you know what I’m gonna count it as a pebble. No stone stepped but there was a pebble 😃 okay.
My story continues;